i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
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