he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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