You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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