Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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