in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
