Please, let me fuck your mom
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
