I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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