what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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