Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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