If i come over, it means nothing
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
