i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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