Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I wish i was in the wii world.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
