First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
