why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
