"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
