i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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