Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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