You can't special order awesome
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
