You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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