maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
