TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
