You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
