there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
