I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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