I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
