If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
