went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
