He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
