Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
