I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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