My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
