I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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