Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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