And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Randomize
