you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
