im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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