When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
