the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
