Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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