I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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