dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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