Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
