im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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