how can u be prego again
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
