He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
