I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
