How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
