1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
