dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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