I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
